Characters – The Hapless Detectives

Kester Norwood – our central character and anti-hero. 18 years old and in his first year at Uni. He has always wanted to be a detective and now he’s about to put his years of “training” to the test whilst trying to study for his Drama degree at the same time. Kester is an idiot without even realizing it. He’s not cool and isn’t even particularly clever, as a result of which his efforts at being a detective are, more often than not, hilarious and disastrous. He is however, likeable, despite his arrogance – a loyal friend with a kind heart and a thirst for adventure.

Claude Faulkner – a slightly overweight, bumbling geek who’s studying Math. He wears old fashioned, untrendy clothes and sports a pair of thick rimmed round glasses that are always slipping down off the end of his nose. He is shy and reserved due to having been bullied in school but when people get to know him they find he is extremely intelligent, loyal, trustworthy and occasionally hilariously funny.

Ren Takahashi – a dedicated History student who keeps his nose down and works hard, keeps himself to himself and isn’t particularly talkative but when he does speak, he chooses his words carefully and always says something useful. Japanese and here on a foreign placement, this is his first time in England. He is a black belt in judo and therefore very handy in a fight.

Sophy Ruskin – strikingly beautiful and with the gift of the gab is instantly popular with the University “in crowd” and pretty much everyone else too. She is also clever and studying English Literature, enjoys reading all the classics. Friendly and ameanable, she can get on with everyone and knows how to use it to her advantage.

Megan Sharma – half Indian, half English, Megan is studying Medicine but would rather be an actress. She skips a lot of her classes and isn’t really fulfilling her potential despite being smart enough to do so. She’s looking for something a little more interesting in life and is instantly attracted to Kester when she first meets him.

Brogan Donaghue – Kester’s older brother who is in his third year studying Business. He looks down on his younger sibling and thinks he’s a complete idiot. He is good looking and popular with all the girls. He’s also a pompous arse and not particularly likeable.

Oscar Winchester – is Brogan’s best friend. Brogan bullies him and treats him badly, but Oscar puts up with it because he doesn’t have any other friends. He’s low on self confidence and has had a series of problems with various addictions.

Annie Masterson – Brogan’s girlfriend. Sassy, beautiful, confident, but bitchy. She often sees other guys behind Brogan’s back but he’s so sure of himself he never suspects that would happen.

Darius Jackler – first year Drama student from a poor South London background, here on a scholarship. Was originally part of a gang when he was growing up but is trying to break away from that crowd and move on with his life by coming to Uni and starting afresh. He is secretly gay but doesn’t feel he can tell anyone.

Timothy Thorburn – the landlord at the Student Union Bar. 38 years old and a former student at the University before fighting in the army for ten years. He is chatty and friendly with the students and they all like him, especially when he lets them stay behind after hours and smoke inside.

Felicity Thorburn – Timothy’s wife. 32 years old and generally quite bad tempered. She is grumpy with most of the students and keeps out of the way a lot of the time. Her bitterness comes from her own regret at never having attended University and that she always felt she could do better with her life.

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