“What on EARTH are you doing on Earth?” Michael asked his old pal Ricky Dee. “Shouldn’t you be ruining people’s lives?”
In fact, Ricky Dee wasn’t a “life-ruiner,” but rather a “human antagonist.” God allows demons to antagonize humans, causing them to struggle. This forces them to work out their problems, which makes them wiser and morally stronger. Basically, Ricky Dee is a personal trainer for the soul.
“I’ve come to help you,” Ricky Dee said. “You’ll never get W.M.D.’s. Besides, you don’t need them. You’re an angel. Just call down the wrath of God and obliterate the place like we were taught at the Academy.”
Michael didn’t know he could do that because he’d missed the day they taught “Armageddon 101.”
“Sounds great,” said Michael, “I’ll let you show me. But first I have one thing I need to do.”
“What? The ‘Shelly’ thing?” Ricky Dee asked, incredulously. “You’ll never get a girl like her, dude. She’s out of your league.”
Out of MY league, Michael thought. I’m an angel, for pity’s sake.
“You ever wonder why God doesn’t just blow the place up Himself?” Ricky Dee asked.
“Um… because He needs help?”
Sometimes people (and angels) say stupid things. When that happens, Ricky Dee had learned it’s best to just ignore it and power on.
“Maybe God called you for a reason, a lesson YOU need to learn.”
“What could I possibly learn?” Michael asked, annoyed.
“Did you know that angels are actually beneath humans in the Heavenly breakdown?”
“They’re the ones who go through the suffering and pain and uncertainty of life, not us. Our job is to help THEM. The only way you’ll ever hook up with Shelly Bloom is if you do it here and now. And that’s never going to happen as long as you’re in the ‘friend zone.'”
There it was again — the “F” word. It echoed in Michael’s brain all night as he tried to sleep.
The next day at Paradise High, Michael looked all over for Shelly. At lunch he finally found her eating with friends at a picnic table on campus.
Michael had to get some clarity on this once and for all. He boldly approached and sat with Shelly and her girlfriends. The girls just glared at him, then said:
BFF#1: “Who are you?”
BFF#2: “Get out of here.”
BFF#3: “What’s your problem, dork?”
BFF#4: “‘Miami Vice’ just called. They want their wardrobe back.”
“Hi, Mike,” Shelly said, quieting the others.
“I wondered if we could talk?” Mike asked.
For the longest moment, nobody moved. All eyes were on Michael, except for Michael’s — his eyes were on Shelly. This made her uneasy, but she knew they needed to talk.
So after a bit of heavy sighing and eye-rolling, the gal-pals did finally exit, leaving Mike and Shel alone.
“I spoke to your mom…” Mike said.
“You spoke to my MOM?” Strike one.
“I just saw her at the restaurant.” Mike said, recovering. “She’s very nice. A very attractive woman.”
“You think my mom’s hot?” Strike two.
“No! Wait. Look. I just wanted to say that I like you. You seem very nice. You’re pretty. And I know you just got out of a relationship. But that was a while ago and… if you’re not seeing anybody…”
“I am seeing somebody.” Yeeeeeeeeeeeer OUTTA there!
“What? When did that happen?” Mike asked.
“Today, actually. I just met him. You never did talk to me so… oh, here he is now.”
“What’s up, my brother?” said a “boyfriend-ish” voice.
Michael turned; he couldn’t believe it. THIS was Shelly’s new boyfriend? Mike could handle simple rejection, but THIS guy? That was the last straw!
Who’s the new guy Shelly’s dating?
Please return to the top of the page to vote on what happens next!
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