Loan Some

Lone75x99Voting for episode 6 ended October 18, 2013.  Readers voted that all the commotion was… Chip was in a light saber battle with another Yoda.

Episode 7

Chip, as Yoda, had somehow engaged in a lightsaber battle with another Yoda. Spectators had formed a circle around them, allowing the two Grand Masters of the Jedi Order enough space for their battle, over what, Vera didn’t know.

“What happened?” she muttered to a Wonder Woman, whose iPhone was recording the duel.

“Nothing,” she said. “They just saw each other and threw down immediately.” Then Wonder Woman turned to Vera, realizing that she was dressed in Star Wars garb. “Chewie.”

Because Chip’s lightsaber was pretty remedial, something he clearly had created in high school out of wrapping paper tubes, he performed his own lightsaber sounds to make it more authentic. Zhoom.  Meanwhile, the other Yoda clearly had spent a lot of time and money on his outfit and lightsaber, which made its own sounds when used. Yoda 2’s entire outfit looked like it was issued straight from George Lucas himself.

Chip was clearly getting beat by this other guy, and the crowd was rallying behind Yoda 2 to finish him off.

“Should I do something?” Vera said to Cole.

“No. This will be over soon enough.” He turned and walked away.

Just then Chip’s lightsaber bent in half, reminiscent of Charlie Brown’s sad Christmas tree. Knowing he had been beat, Chip brought his forlorn lightsaber to the front of his face, in the same way Obi-Wan did when he was defeated by Darth Vader in the first film, and the other Yoda fake sliced his lightsaber across Chip’s body. The crowd cheered and quickly rushed to Yoda 2, lifting him up and carrying him around.

After the audience had dispersed and gone back to what they were doing, Vera approached Chip, who was solemn.

“You put up a good fight,” she said, playfully punching his shoulder. As she looked at him, with his Yoda ear bent from the battle, she felt a bit of pity.

“A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.”

“But you clearly just fought him?”

“Patience you must have.”

Chip was really making her work for this assignment. She started to walk away, when he tugged on her fur costume.

“Carry me, will you?”

“Pardon?”

“Carry me.” Vera eyed him up and down. Given his small size, it was definitely doable. But did she really want to do this to herself? Being in a Chewie costume was humiliating enough.

Chip pulled out his fake sea-foam plastic hand and brushed his fingers back and forth in the same way a mob boss would say, “Where’s my dough?” Vera knew he would pay her extra if she did this.

“Hop on,” she said.

 He jumped on her back, and it was awkward, as she took dinosaur steps, one at a time. He was heavier than she thought, and he ended up looking like a heavy backpack sliding off her shoulders. She felt something hard against her back, and when she realized it wasn’t his lightsaber, which had been discarded on the ground, she threw him off her shoulders.

“What the hell, Chip?” said a woman, dressed as Hermione from Harry Potter. Chip was rolling around on the floor like some sort of dying ant.

“Hi Alexis,” he said. “This is Isadora.” 

Click here to read about characters.

Voting for episode 7 closed October 27, 2013. Readers voted: Alexis took one hard look at Vera… And said to Vera, “Hello, Isadora. I’m his wife.

Click here for other episodes.

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