The Hapless Detectives

Dectective75x99Voting for episode 6 closed October 18, 2013.  Readers voted for Kester to follow Sophy’s advice and demand that everyone empty their pockets.

Episode 7

“Empty their pockets?” Kester looked at Sophy, leaving a slightly overdramatic pause before announcing, “that was exactly what I was about to suggest.”

“Yeah right,” she scoffed, disbelieving.

“You’re proving quite a useful assistant, after all. Perhaps you can read my mind,” he smiled at her encouragingly.

“It’s a good job you can’t read mine right now,” she quipped back.

Kester wasn’t sure whether that was an attempt at flirting or not. (It really wasn’t) but he resolved himself to think about that later, once the case was over.

“Alright, I’ve got the loudest voice, I’ll tell everyone.” He waved his arms emphatically as if desperately trying to hail a taxi that was about to drive right past him.  “Hey! Hey everyone! If I could just possibly get your attention for a few minutes just to make a quick announcement, it would be most appreciated!”

His polite cries for attention went completely ignored. Sophy rolled her eyes and hoisted herself up onto the chair, having to grab hold of him to squeeze on next to him and not fall off. Kester felt a sudden rush of excitement at her close proximity, the scent from her perfume darting up his nostrils.

“EVERYBODY SHUT THE HELL UP!” she yelled, deafening Kester and silencing the bar entirely. He was impressed and stared at her open mouthed for a moment. Within seconds everyone was looking at each other and listening to what she had to say. “As you’re all aware, some money has gone missing. We need everyone to empty out their pockets onto the table so we can come and search through the contents.”

There was a general grumble of assent as people reluctantly or readily removed the contents of their pockets and made little heaps of money and wallets and mobile phones and dirty tissues on the small round bar tables.

“Nice work,” said Kester quietly, smiling at her.

She smiled back and agilely leapt off the chair. “No probem,” she shrugged, immediately beginning the walk round to search for the missing money.

Kester took the opposite direction and strolled round the other side of the pub, rifling through the other student’s possessions with as much decorum as he could manage. He was secretly hoping he would be the one to find the money so that Sophy didn’t take all the glory. She seemed a little bit too good for his liking sometimes. He was supposed to be the brains of the outfit after all.

 So when he met her back near the barricaded door and discovered she hadn’t found the missing cash amongst the student’s items he was as pleased as he was baffled.

“But…if you didn’t find it…and I didn’t find it…where is it?”

“Ahh, good question, detective,” she said sarcastically before launching into, “I was thinking that they probably – “

He put a hand up to silence her.

“Sorry to interrupt,” he apologised. “But I really need to think of this on my own. You came up with the first excellent idea, it’s my turn now.”

“Alright,” she shrugged. “Fair enough.”

 He frowned, thinking about it hard for a moment whilst Sophy gave him some silence, just watching him with a slightly amused expression on her face.

“Got it!” he yelped eventually, his body jolting with excitement. “They must have hidden it somewhere.”

“Well done. It only took you five hours,” she replied, even heavier on the sarcasm than her previous efforts at humour.

“Don’t exaggerate.”

“I think we should look – “

He held his hand up again. She sighed. “Go on then, detective. Where do you think we should look?” she asked, indulging him.

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Voting for episode 7 closed October 27, 2013.  Readers voted that they should look for the money in the toilet.

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