The Hapless Detectives

Dectective75x99Voting for episode 3 closed September 27, 2013.  The majority of readers voted for him to do this: Accept Darius’ case and agree to go back to his Halls of Residence immediately so they can discuss it further.

Episode 4

“Darius…” said Kester with a little smile. “That sounds…absolutely excellent. If you have a case for me, I will certainly look into it for you. No case is too big or too small for the great Kester Norwood.”

Darius gave him a slightly weird look, then shrugged his shoulders and nodded.

“Alright then,” he agreed, standing up and rubbing his side gingerly where he’d been kicked. “Let’s go. I wouldn’t mind patching up these cuts too…think my rib might be broken.”

“Ooh, broken ribs can be bad,” Kester gave him a sympathetic frown.

“You ever had one?” Darius asked as the pair of them began to walk away from the bar together and towards the door.

“Er no…but I’ve read about it in books and on the internet,” replied the young detective confidently. That was all the knowledge he needed at this stage, and would hopefully ever need to know. He didn’t fancy getting a broken rib anytime soon.

“Er…excuse me a minute!” came a rather annoyed sounding female voice just over Kester’s shoulder.

He turned round to find Sophy glaring at him. “Just where the hell do you think you’re going?” she demanded.

“Oh. I’m just going with Darius to check out this new case,” he explained casually with a confused expression. He didn’t think he had to relay everything back to her all of a sudden. It’s not as if they were dating or anything. Thankfully. Obviously, she was dating material, but she was kind of pushy for a girl.

“Oh, oh, you’re just going with Darius to check out this new case,” she repeated his statement, an action Kester felt was wholly unnecessary and quite illogical. Always best to adopt a logical approach in every situation. That was what he’d learned over his years of independent detective study. “What about me?” she continued. “I thought I was supposed to be your sidekick, I mean…assistant, partner, WHATEVER.”

“Right yeah. Well, you are,” Kester frowned. “I mean at least, I think you are. You never actually said yes, you just said that you’d consider it if I could fight and I think I proved to everyone that I’m more than handy in a fight so – “

“You know what…just go,” she interrupted him with a wave of her hand. “I’m gonna have a drink.”

“Right,” nodded Kester. “Good idea, sidekick. You keep your eyes out here. If any bad stuff goes down, text me.” And with that he made a swift and extremely cool (or so he imagined), exit.

“I don’t even have your number, dimwit!” Sophy shouted after him, but it was too late by then. He was already wandering off down the road with Darius.

Ten minutes later they were sat in his small room at the Halls of Residence where the young black man with the South London accent and the sparkling white perfect teeth was explaining the ‘case’ to an increasingly bemused looking Kester.

“There’s this girl, y’see,” he began. “She’s older than me. A third year, I think. Anyways, she started hitting on me. Really proper coming on to me, y’know. But the thing is, Kester mate…I think she already has a boyfriend.”

“I see,” Kester shifted his weight around on Darius’ bouncy mattress that they were both awkwardly sat on, trying to get comfortable and thinking of a way to best let him down gently. “The thing is…Darius…I’m not a matchmaking service. If you want to get with this girl and she’s – “

“Oh no, no,” he shook his head fervently. “I’m not interested in her in the slightest. Not my type. The reason I’m saying this is…well…for a start off…I’ve seen this girl with someone else, yeah, so I know she’s cheating. And I don’t like that. I don’t think people should cheat on each other. It’s not right. And – “

“That’s very kind of you, Darius,” interrupted Kester. “Very noble and er…honorable and all that but – “

“She’s dating your brother, mate.”


“Your brother. That’s who she’s cheating on,” Darius explained. “I heard him say something about you like…’my idiot baby brother thinks he’s some kind of detective’…you know, or something like that anyway. So, I just thought, y’know, if you’re looking for a first case, you could always expose your brother’s girlfriend for cheating. Maybe then he might like you better.”

Click here to read about characters.

Voting for episode 4 closed October 4th, 2013.  The majority of readers voted for him to do this: Thank Darius for bringing it to his attention. Tell him he’ll consider it, but that he needs to get back to the bar to discuss it with his new assistant Sophy first.

Click here for other episodes.

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